What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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