They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
