mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
