I just pynch a tree in the face
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
