break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
