Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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