i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
