Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
