i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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