Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
