I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
