week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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