i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize