they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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