Who wears a wallet chain?!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
