He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
