Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When are your genitals available?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
