Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
