Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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