HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
