Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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