bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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