D3 body, D1 cock
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
