Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
