Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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