Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he fucked my hip out of place.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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