I smell stomach acid.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
