Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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