Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
