before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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