Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
