Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
