Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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