i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
