Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
