Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize