Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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