I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
