I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
