reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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