I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
