I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no, he came in my armpit
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
