Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
