I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
