Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
