Banned from zoo.
Again?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize