All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
