You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
