my mouth tastes like poor choices
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize