I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
