also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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