I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
50% drunk capacity currently
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
