theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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