trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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