Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Randomize
