It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
