Already got asked if we're dating
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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