I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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